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Coping with Phobias - Sally Churchward

Article in the Daily Echo Living section on my experience of Social Phobia.  This article discusses the Social Anxiety group that I currently run in Southampton.

BBC radio show with Richard Latto.

I appeared as Richard's guest on this show, offering advice and answering listener's questions on increasing Happiness and Confidence in their lives.  Forward the show 1 hour and 6 minutes in to hear my talk.

Click HERE to hear the show

Drivetime BBC radio show with Richard Latto.

A talk covering some of my 7 tips on successful dating.

Click HERE to hear the show 

A Lighthearted article on my  7 tips on confident dating

FLIRTING WITH SUCCESS

By Simon Carr - Daily Echo.

I HAVE never been someone who suffers from a lack of confidence.

However, having been professionally single for the last few months my ego has taken quite a thrashing.

To help the situation I decided to have a one-to-one with a flirt coach who claims she can cure even the terminally single.

Southampton-based psychologist Sasha Phillips believes her seven tips to confident dating can help even the shyest would-be Casanova pick up Hampshire sirens in bars, supermarkets or parks.

Her first tip is flirt with your eyes. Sasha says maintaining comfortable eye contact is important - don't sheepishly look away or stare intensively at them like an eye-hungry psychopath.

Apparently the trick here is to focus on different parts of the face and around the eyes.

After a few attempts I had managed to stop my eyeballs rolling around wildly in their sockets and was ready for the second tip - chat-up lines.

I have often struggled to come up with one sentence that would immediately convey to a potential mate my wit, intelligence and sexual prowess (and modesty? - Ed).

The closest I've come up with so far includes: "Unless I'm much mistaken you were looking at me and licking your lips."

However, it turned out that even this charming introduction was not a surefire route to success.

According to the flirt coach, girlies are immune to chat-up lines and far prefer a casual smile and a "Hi, how's your day been?"

She also recommends having a variety of topics in your mind to make sure conversation doesn't run dry.

Next Sasha told me to think of someone who exudes confidence and to picture myself getting into their body. I obediently knelt down and prepared to climb into my imaginary Tom Cruise.

I had to try to imagine how this ultra-confident, alpha male would feel as he swaggered across the room.

Next was an exercise designed to help combat nerves with controlled breathing and an Aikido martial arts technique designed to make you feel grounded and balance your body.

I had to imagine my head sinking into my own stomach and rid my mind of all the thoughts I normally have rattling around inside my brain.

After this I had to focus on Simon's "Happy Place".

Thinking back to positive experiences when I felt confident, happy and at peace with the world and linking them to a physical gesture I could trigger this at anytime by clicking my fingers or clenching my hand.

Simon's Happy Place is normally a wonderful fairground of friendly women, beer and fast food but on this occasion I tried to throw a few personal achievements into the mix too.

Next I was told to tame my gremlin.

Sasha explained that everyone has an internal gremlin that continually criticises its owner and draws on their insecurities - she said this voice must be silenced through positive thinking.

Her final piece of advice was to be a risk taker and not to be afraid of rejection.

Thankfully, I've been blown out by hundreds of women so I felt I was one step ahead where this nugget of wisdom was concerned.

With these tips under my belt I am preparing to hit the streets and wow the women with my freshly invigorated sense of self-belief.  Watch this space.

NLP LIFE COACH - LIFE COACHING - COUNSELLING - SELF-ESTEEM & CONFIDENCE BUILDING - SUCCESS COACHING - LIFE EXCELLENCE